Here is my word.


I live in a box-
One and a half a beds length long, two beds’ widths wide
And one beds’ length high.
The paint peels from the walls, the door doesn’t shut properly,
The window can fall out- Everything within my box is neglected.
Even me.

People tell me not to feel sorry for myself,
But if I don’t then that will be no-one feeling anything for me.
I pity myself because no-one else will.
I don’t blame them.

So into my box I slowly crawl, into my bed to hide from myself.
I would have to be my own greatest enemy.
I can take a friend and make him an enemy.
How? It’s just what I do. I force them to love me and is they can’t be forced- 
The world has a population over a billion
Minds and souls that are ready for my twisted imagination.

And so I take a friend. He is a dear friend, I could not harm him, he- 
I would do anything for him. Because he is my friend.
But I cannot accept that he is like me.
He seeks friends too and just doesn’t have time for me.
So I make myself known. I do things that are odd to get his attention- 
To make him see me. And he sees me- 
The attention seeker, not me the friend.
And he is lost to me.

So I snuggle in the bed in my box.
I try to extract what little warmth is left in my soul to heat my dying body.
I look at my world. The paint peels, the carpet is tattered.
I myself lie almost naked in my tiny home.
Another friend rejects me- I am so scared of being alone,
And I am so alone for so much time every day.
Sure, It gives me time to think, but thoughts are dangerous to me...

I am insane. I love alone. Help me, love me- 
God, what am I saying?
Maybe it’s what’s on my mind.
I didn’t mean to hurt them! Love me for my sake! I cry,

Else alone as alone can be,
I will die.