My haikus are good. 
You should take lessons from me. 
It won't cost that much. 

with a nervous laugh, 
you question my sanity... 
but you hold the axe. 

I stand on a bridge 
Black water flows below me 
Guess it's time to go 

I beat up a man. 
the bastard stole my wallet. 
Oh, wait. here it is! 

Whipped cream on my breasts 
Chocolate sauce on my tummy 
Next time wear a blouse 

Busty teen vixens 
want my credit card number. 
Damn you, internet. 

Snow White in leather 
dwarfs groveling at her feet 
the directors cut 

Five jars of urine 
arranged in a star-pattern 
Why do I do this? 

Good grammar, spelling 
Conspicuously absent 
From many haikus 

dark-helmeted knight 
kung-fu grip across the room 
I'm your father, Luke 

smacking my poor head 
against the computer screen 
i realize you're dumb

Wait, click, wait, and click. 
Will it be mine? Of course not. 
They don't like my poems. 

I see dead people 
I haven't got a sixth sense 
I'm just really stoned 

do you say haiku
or is the plural haiku's
i can never tell.