Illusions of the Mind
©1993 Tim St.Clair
	The raging machine sped along a tunnel of flashing lights that spun the world into oblivion. At the metal beasts’ roaring heart sat a simple, crazed human child. The female body sat in a contorted shape, pushed into the seat by the magnificent forces acting on the strange craft. The tunnel, thought the driver, was rather like an enormous picture that she was somehow falling towards, yet never reaching. The swirling light were a fluorescent green, but they changed and swirled- green, blue and yellow- the colours mixed and ran like a water-colour paint set left in the rain. Abruptly, the machine stopped, the colours fell back to their original image and the girl slowly, shakily, removed her helmet.
The dark room was mostly silent, apart from the cooling fans somewhere lost under the mass of computer hardware. A young female adult stood atop a circular contraption massed with an assortment of rainbow flavoured wires all knotted in a haywire fashion. The woman wore a black bodysuit lined with cables and tiny metallic threads. She removed a dark full-face helmet and allowed her long golden-brown hair to gently hang down her back. She wore an expression of incredible fascination and joy as she glanced back at the two tiny dark screens that sat encased in the Virtual Reality mask.
Somewhere in the darkness, a switch clunked and within a few seconds, bright fluorescent lights shone down through a thin smoky haze. Around the now-illuminated room ran a series of flickering screens, computer keyboards, cables and tiny flickering lights. On the cement floor lay more computing equipment, forgotten and obviously broken. 
A man’s voice broke the humming silence. His tone was slightly cynical and abnormally loud, partly due to the amount of noise buzzing through the silent air. “So, wha’d’ya reckon? It’s’a friggin’ bewdy, eh?” Again the silence. Somewhere in the electric room a computer bliped and grated as its hard disc searched for some irresistible data.
The beautiful woman sighed a long breath. She looked over at the man with lush brown eyes and grinned her applause. “Shit.” She sighed again. “ That is what I call a ride and a half. You are a bloody genius, Ed. A bloody genius.” She laughed in affection and then smiled uncontrollably. She stepped down from the apparatus, unzipping the suit and revealing a well-tanned, scantily clothed body. She only wore a bright green one-piece swimming costume. Placing the helmet on the floor, she walked daintily to where the man stood, pausing momentarily to gather her other clothes and belongings.
“I felt as if I were actually there, flying about in that place. I could feel it. It was fantastic.” She was now wearing a tracksuit top and was attempting to get into the bottom half while walking and stepping over cords.
Edward Evans was smiling adoringly at the woman. He was a short, reasonably built man, though not old. His high forehead was protected by a pair of metallic-gold glasses which were spotted and greased.
“You sound if you liked it?” He teased. “Nah, it’s not that good.”
“Bullshit!” She snapped, her initial response disreguarding the use of Edwards sarcasm, then with a melodramatic sigh, she added “Now that you mention it, it was rather crappy...”
“Ha, ha. Joke, joke. I am working on another one- alot better, this one. It about-”
“Ed. Don’t tell me. Just give me another go in that gizmo when you’ve finished it.” She led the young adult towards the door.
The light switch again clunked as the door shut and the room was again dark, save the tiny lights and dark screens. Again, a computer ground a shuddering sigh and fell silent.

When the girl awoke, the first thing she noticed was the heavy, warm arm across her naked breast. Somewhere outside in the dark night, a dog barked once and a metallic clang was heard. She awoke from a dream about a tall machine that spun her through a make-up world and of the man she loved, the same man that now slept fitfully aside her naked body. He, she had noticed earlier as they made love, still wore one of his socks. He had again absently been caught up trying to do more things at one moment than he could handle, which often happened as the excitement grew. The woman manoeuvred the sock from her partners foot with her own and peacefully again drifted into sleep.
When next she awoke, the sun shone golden bands of warmth through lacy curtains hanging across a broad bay window. Outside, the blue sky, the green grass, the old rusty cars, the half full garbage can lying on the road. She lay in a world of soft, warm sheets, tepid blankets atop them, steaming breakfast next to her-
The tantalising aroma of coffee and toast, eggs and bacon with a touch of parsley and chives awoke her with a start and she found eyes on her. Two blue oceans of adoration staring at her perfectness as she lay back in the soft wonderland. He had cooked her breakfast in bed! And he now waited for her to awaken and devour the lot.
“Oh. Dear Eddie. You... I... Oh!” The fascinated girl was speechless.
“Well, Jess. This certainly is your lucky day, isn’t it? Make me get out of bed with you and make you breakfast next time!” the sleepy-eyed man tested. “Do you like it?”
“I love it, chef. But thanks for ruining my morning already.”
“What do I do this time?”
“Check out the garbage out there,” Jess indicated the garbage can lying on the road. “You forgot to put the lid on the garbage last night and it looks as though some creature had knocked it over and it’s now all over the road. But apart from that, I love you and I love it when you cook for me.”
“Oh, isn’t that sweet.” The short man said, honey words gushing from his lips. “It was your turn to put out the garbage last night, but you were enjoying me so much... I didn’t want to bother you!”
“How could anyone enjoy you? You were still half-dressed in bed last night. Take off your socks next time before we get together.” Offensive, but in a kind way.
“Well. Hmpf. I am going to have a shower while you stuff yourself and laze about. Then I am going to pick up your garbage and then go back to the office and work, while you laze about in bed eating.” Edward grabbed a towel and entered an ensuite bathroom before his lover could answer.
“Laze about in bed eating, indeed.” Jess said to herself, then lay back in the soft pillows to engorge her breakfast.

“Nice of you to turn up, Evans. As if you aren’t an hour late or anything.” The office was busy, probably because work had started some time ago. It was the same room that Edwars had been in the night before with the woman, Jess, but now it was crowded with a flock of casually-dressed people all working around computer screens and over grey-green boards lined with circuits. 
The speaker again spoke, this time, his voice was not as humorous. “I would like to see you. In my office.” It was Edward’s boss, Tony Watson. A few of the other employees ‘ooh’ed eerily but quickly got back to work, dismissing his misfortune without a second thought.
Tony Watson was an ageing man. His receding hairline was mostly grey and he wore thick glasses. In his left shirt pocket he had a number of pens and a piece of grubby whitish paper. He sat in a huge chair which was teetering back at an incredulous angle. On the desk was a large computer, screen and keyboard, a digitising pad and a number of discs. Also, another VR helmet, identical to the one Jess had worn the night before. John sat entered, closed the heavy hazy-glass door behind him and took a seat across the desk from his employer. 
“’Morning, Mr Watson.” He said, expecting the reply he received.
“What the hell do you mean by that? I bet it was a good morning. Sleep in, did we? Think it was a public holiday? And what the hell were you doing in here last night with that stupid Jessica girl? How do I know? Because when I came in here two hours ago, all the equipment was still on. That’s how I know and that’s why you are in here.” Well it wasn’t that bad. He was at least trying to keep his voice to a manageable level.
“It doesn’t hurt the equipment leaving it on, though-”
“It hurts our power bill. You’re lucky we are funded by the government. I certainly wouldn’t like to pay out electricity bill, especially when some dickhead leaves it on all the time.”
“Well, I-”
“You most certainly won’t leave it on again, will you? And what was that woman you have doing here last night?”
He was settling down again, Edward thought. He decided to tell his employer the truth rather than a humerous story or a blatant lie. “I gave her a spin on VR as a test run. We’ve all seen it and know it, but what about someone outside us? They’ve hardly ever seen it and we do need to know how it will effect them, don’t we?”
“A spin? What do you mean a spin?”
“Full suit, helmet- the works. I ran her through the virtual tunnel and she came out looking like it had really happened.”
“Oh, fine! Fine indeed! You run someone off the streets through a billion dollar heap of junk just to give them a thrill? That really is intelligent.” The employer paused a moment too long, then added with mock disgust “Get out of here, Evans. Don’t give anyone a go until it’s finished, okay? Then only the ones we tell you you can.”
Just as Edward Philip Evans reached the door, he glanced back only to see his employer leaning a little too far back on his chair, smiling gleefully until he overbalanced and fell backwards with a loud thump. Onlookers outside the door all laughed.

“Wha’cha workin’ on, Eddie?” a golden voice whispered in his ear. A tall, blonde woman dressed in a velvety blue dress with six silvery buttons down the front bent over the back of John’s chair, over his shoulder and peered into the screens in front of him with her giant grey-green eyes. The answer seh recieved was dry and unaffected by her sensuous syllabic pronunciation.
“The same as what you’re not. Can’t you tell?” He gestured at the rows of numbers and letters cascading down his main screen and at the blocky computer graphics on a smaller screen beside it. “The usual. I’m designing another world for VR. This one is an apartment block. The hardest thing in are the sliding doors at the elevators. Everything else is just dandy.”
“Well keep it up. I’ll be out in the office if you need anything- special. You know where to find me.” With that, the sensual woman delicately swayed to and fro as she glided back to her separate secretarial office.
“Ooh! Look who’s with all the women, now? ” The other technicians teased.
“Piss off. With that slut? I am solely a one-timer and quite happy with Jess. You’re all just jealous  ’cos I get all the good ones!” Edward joked, smiling like a pompous child.
“Two-timer!”
“Loser!”

Quietly the secretary worked behind a tall, brown-red desk. The floor shone in perfect brilliance, the reflected image of a man moved swiftly below the image of him walking across the broad foyer. High beams arched across a grey marble ceiling, some twenty metres above. Morning sun shone across the glittering sheen of floor. Green sofa-chairs sat next to perfect green plants in front of the high plate-glass windows. Outside was an incredible surreal world where the ground was alikened to a blue-and-yellow chessboard, the trees were blocky and undefined and the sky was a solid single-colour blue. The man looked back at the secretary. Her metallic lustre shone reflections of the room about her. She looked from a square blocky computer at the tall man as he spoke.
“Can you see me and hear me well?” His voice was calm but verged almost on eagerness. The strange creature seated behind the computer rose and walked around the desk. Her sheen easily reflected from the floor and she cast almost no shadow.
“Bloody beautiful, Tone. Clear as a bell. And I can see your blue shine without fail.” Came the reply. The female image then indicated to her body and pointed to other silvery creatures that lurked about the perfect room. “Why did you choose blue instead of this lovely silver like the rest of us?”
“Because I wanted to be different, didn’t I? Not like all you nerds that ‘wear’ that stupid silver. It makes you look... Virtual. Why not choose this lovely blue suit, like I have on?”
“Oh yes, nice suit.” Another silvery figure spoke. It sounded just like Edward Evans, but looked just the same as the other silvery figures. “How about this?” He added and turned sideways, sat, it seemed, in mid air and then did the strangest thing. He lifted his arms to his head and removed the silvery blob from his shoulders. Within seconds his form had dissolved into thin air and he was no longer there. Then, to everyones amazement, the blue man standing in the middle of the foyer started to shape-shift. He was gradually ‘morphing’ into another shape- not completely different, but suprisingly more ‘humanlike’. When the transition had finally finished, the recently withdrawn figure reappeared- bit at a time- wearing over his metallic skin a bright pair of shorts and a shirt. He wore dark glasses. Across from him the blue figure wore a dark blue suit and carried a brown briefcase. Gradually the other beings evolved clothes, their ‘naked’ forms transmutated and the outlandish colours that returned with buisiness suits and pyjama-wear. All the people in the foyer laughed at each other and eventually turned to ‘Edward’ who was sitting happily in mid air. As he seemed to roll a ball invisible to all present in the room, he floated highed and higher, then around the room. Eventually, he returned, stood up and walked up to lean on the secretary’s desk.
“So, whad’ya think? I decided on some clothes instead of just colours. Now you can be both. Coloured and clothed.”
“Smart, I think. Maybe get some designer fasion, eh?” The secretary spoke, her female voice as smooth as ice.
“Oh yeah. Like, you can program it in if you like.” The voice teased. Again the figure moved the unseen oblect. His form gradually cycled through the rainbow of colours, eventually to become black. Dark as any night, he hovered across the room without walking and slowly sunk into the ground. When he returned, it was with a pop and a glittering shower of gold flecks cascaded to the floor around him. He was dressed in a buisiness suit and appeared to be an exact duplicate of the man oppisite him.
“You’re the expert. You do it.” She rhetorted.
“Okay. I will. But down to buisiness, everyone. Can you all take on a bit of exploring here. I think I might have messed up a bit in the level duplicate because I added this high roof and the figures got a bit out. If you could each take a floor and look around. Check out the view, see what’s on the television of you can find one. That sort of thing. Write it down on the computers back in the lab and I’ll go about fixing it up later.” The robotlike creature suddenly looked at one of the people in front of him. “Jenn, What’s wrong with your arm? It’s not there.”
The group all turned to see that the statement was correct. “Oh, shit.” Said one of the humanlike blobs. “Looks as if some wiring’s fucked. Jenn, get out of you suit and I’ll see what I can do, then I’ll be with the rest of you guys. Maybe these suits get a bit much use or can’t handle it. Have to sort that out with the Cybersuit manufacturers.” The two figures lifted their arms to their heads, removed them and slowly peeled back into themselves- disintegrated.
“Well, whoever’s left, get back to your computers and fly. Oh and by the way, don’t use the elevators. It, for the moment, has tendancies to link you straight into the tunnel ride. I coudn’t get them to operate properly so I thought I’d do something useful with them that moves!”
“Good on ya, Evans. Mess it up again.” The identical twin who was in fact Tony Watson, thre employer, stated humorously.
“Hey, I got the floor and roof right and I got the sun working didn’t I? Can’t complain too much, can we?”
“Benefit of the doubt, this time. Anyway, I’ll be in my office if any of you need me.” With that, he opened an imaginary door into a black void and stepped through. When the door closed, the man in blue was gone.
“Hm. I prefer the dissolve, melt or sink actually.” John called out to where the man had stood only moments before. An eeire voice reverberated a reply from nowhere “We have our favourites.” And was gone.

The room was dim, hot and boring. The fluorescent lights shone dully on the room jammed with computers. At a desk, a man sat slumped on the desk. His short body was cloaked in a black suit lined with cables and on his head he wore a helmet not unlike a full-mask helmet worn by motorbike riders.  His slowly rising and falling chest indicated that the wearer of such outlandish clothing, was asleep. Somewhere in the room, a computer blipped and its spinning disc once again grated a heaving sigh. The electrical lump at the desk stirred slowly, but then yawned and went back into his fitful doze.
The door creaked, opened and a shy female face peered in. Jess had come in search of Edward, who had not come home. She felt concerned and had tried to contact the office, but could get no answer and so drove down to check it out. Now, she had found her goal asleep literally in his work. ‘He must be exhausted’, she thought, coming closer. 
Her hand reached forth and tapped the sleeping lug on the shoulder. He stirred, his eyes still inside the helmet, opened just as Jess pushed the computer keyboard out of the way, inadvertantly pushing some of the keys as she did so.

Thunder rolled through the dark cloudy night. Lightning broke down on the black earth. Where in God’s name was he? He looked at his hands with sleep-filled eyes. Where were they? All he could see was a blackish shiny blob which moved as his hand would have. Again the white bolts stuck down at him and he saw his position. He was standing on a black featureless plain where the lightning struck with ferocity at the unmoved soil. A great peal of thunder bore down on him, his head rung with the aftermath of such a blasting explosion. He could feel another prescence in his vicinity and desparately looked around as if in fear. Then he felt his head being lifted from his body. Frantically he tried to stop it, but, oh! Where were his hands! What was happening to him!

“Hey, Evans! Wake up. You’ve slept ‘in’ again.” Jess spoke firmly to the waking man encased in a suit of wire. The helmet lay on the desk beside his head. The short man inside looked up at the sweet woman and smiled weakly, though his eyes were a little wild. A few minutes later, the male and female made ready depart.
“Oh, I musn’t forget.” the man said as the duo were leaving and flicked the switch that shut the office computers down. Then he disarmed the lights, locked the door and took the hand of his beautiful girl and went home.

A few days later Edward was back in the office on another late-night journey through the maze of computer-generated material and worlds quickly typing in figuresfrom an alpha-numeric keyboard onto one screen and watching articles of clothing shape-shifting on another screen. He was creating a wardrobe for each of the suits that transported the wearer anywhere he or she wanted. Electronic racks of suits, dresses and casual wear had all been created by Edward using the console he now sat next to. In fact, entire Virtual planets had been created on the million-dollar computer environment lugging its way through the sums it had to perform. Eerie lights flashed occasionally at the front of the creamy-grey hull of the computer, the two working screens beside the madly-working employee flashing all-important data out into the blackness of the darkened room. 
Then, from under the steady halogen lamps above the human came other sounds, elsewhere in the office. Sounds muffled by closed doors and grating computer discs and clicking keys wafted in towards Edwards eardrum and ultimately, to his brain. In that dark nothingness surrounding his minimal perimeter of light he could suddenly hear an argument, or was it? Tony Watson and- Who? The voices faded.
He sat up to listen and bumped his head on the light just behind him and it flickered out, the loose connections they had all been meaning to fix had finally broken properly. As he rubbed his head and stared widely at the screens in the darkness, his now-sensitive ears again caught the momentum of the voices elsewhere in the building.
“Look Watson. We won’t stand for this much longer. Either you give us the stuff or we will get it out of here ourselves. You can’t hide it all away. We will get It anyway. Just think, the opposition may have beaten us again. They could have utilised this technology-”
“Mr Lombeck, I realise that you wish to have this stuff and you will get it, as soon as the CIA and-” A closing door. The voices had become even more muffled. Edward, suddenly interested to find out just what the arguing pair were referring to, found his way to the door and stood by it silently. The voices were clear again.
“-in the cold war again. The world isn’t like that no more. America isn’t the enemy of anyone except some of those industrially inferior countries. Japan is only a contender in technology and gross manufature. They invented this stuff, they should be bloody well ahead of us anyway. What you require the programmers and their stuff for is totally out of the question until the Government clears it.” Tony was saying.
The other voice considered with a pause. “We were the government. We should have kept Ronnie in the hot seat when we had the chance. Then you would be working for us anyway.”
At this point, the eavesdropper turned away and returned to power-down his terminal and go home. What he had heard sounded like his employer sticking up for them to save his own butt. But who was the man he spoke with? What did he represent? Obviously this stranger was well-known to his employer and knew probably just what they were working towards, therefore would have been in the CIA or the Government somewhere. Edward caught a taxi to the place he stayed on nights when Jess worked her security job, a small flat under an enormous office block.
Later in bed, as his troublesome dreams infested his sub-conscious imagery, he saw faces from his past, the early days of Virtual Reality back in the late eighties and early ninties. The badly designed Cybersuits that featured in the films of the times, the rapidly increasing technological breakthroughs that derived mainly from the home entertainment market, the tensions between the socioeconomic supergiants. It all piled up, all ino his dreams. Somehow, he felt that the incident at the computer lab had been related to that tension- the star wars program that was so important at the height of the cold war, the wars and bickerings that inspired economic ruin and further bickering. Yes, that strange faceless man whose deep voice had seemed somehow desparate was in one way or another interconnected to all of this. Eventually dreams troubled him no more and he fell into a long sleep that lasted well into the next morning. Fortunately, it was Sunday and he was not required at the office.
Around lunchtime, as he sipped from his half-flat Pepsi and ungracefully munched through a greasy burger his meandering thoughts took him out the window, along the footpath and off into the distance. Far away, way past the din of the office and New York surroundings, in fact in the western states where he had first lived when he moved to the States, he pictured himself alone in the desert of Calafornia on a lonely road where the midday sun shone down on his open car, where the free air raced through his hair, where whatever he saw was real, not some computer generated impression. His thoughts again became his own and he sighed, knowing that those days were gone.